I am going to run a substantial risk here of becoming a bit maudlin, but that doesn’t really matter. It’s all a part of the experience! This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I realize it’s slightly ridiculous, but that doesn’t stop the sweeping moments of feeling light and overjoyed, and the instances of sadness that seem to overcome me at the oddest times.
I am overjoyed at the idea that I will be done with law school classes as of tomorrow at 10 a.m. I love the thought that I have one rent check left to write, and most of that month will not be spent living separately from my husband. I cannot wait to move on to the next phases of my life: my career, starting a family, finding a new place for us to call home. On the other hand, that joy is a bit tempered. I know that I posted about things starting to hit me before, but nothing has hit home like knowing that tomorrow is it. I will go home, and then it starts. I’m terrible at keeping in touch, and there are so many amazing people I’ve met that I can’t stand the idea of not being near. I couldn’t have asked for better people to be along on my journey through law school.
I know, I know. Cry me a river, right? I will be able to get back to my life with my hubby. I will have my J.D., and will study for and pass the bar. I will have a career I love. I will be close to my family. It’s not that I’m sad about any of that — it’s just . . . it will be different, you know?
Law school has taught me a completely different way to think and look at the world. It’s introduced me to areas of the law that I had no idea I would love. It’s been through law school that I’ve become friends with people I would have never otherwise met. Many people tell horror stories about law school. The truth is, I’ve enjoyed it and I’m going to miss it. Not specifically the endless cases and impossible to understand theories, or the elements and factors. But more generally the experience as a whole. Of course, I’m not trying to romanticize things — there have been genuinely difficult and stressful and panic-inducing moments. But at the same time, I love learning, and I’ve certainly done my fill of that. There is nothing I like better than being challenged. I enjoyed being a teaching assistant and helping people who are new to the world of legal research wade through it. Being involved in as many things as possible, while crazy and stressful, was truly a wonderful decision on my part.
I’m sure that when I’m in the midst of the twenty-seven pounds of books for bar prep I will need to be reminded that this was all worth it – both for the future benefits and the enjoyment I’ve had in the past. So, I suppose this post is for myself, for later.
To my anxious, tired, and stressed-out self, come late June: You’ve come a long way, baby. Count yourself as lucky to have enjoyed the ride!