Barbri day sixteen: the one that feels like day sixteen hundred

My fingers are calloused. I’ve killed three ink pens. My right pinky goes numb on occasion. By the end of the day I am grumpy, and unfocused. I find things unreasonably annoying, or unreasonably funny — there is no middle ground. I consider showering a welcome break. And lunch, too. I’m never really sure what day of the week it is because they all blend together. The rainy, cold weather has banished me to the indoors, and I am going slightly stir crazy. I feel as though I can’t possibly remember nearly enough to pass this ridiculous exam.

 

It must be just over three weeks into bar preparation.

 

Please send warm thoughts, caffeine, and notecards.

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Barbri day ten: soaking up some sunshine

Here’s a fun fact for you: Barbri is more tolerable when done in the comfort of your yard with the bright sun shining and a lovely breeze blowing through the trees.

Enough waxing poetic about it, but really — if I have more days like today where I am able to get outside while listening to the lecture on my iPod, then the extra money for the mobile option was worth it! I will take that over sitting in a half-dark classroom any day.

barbri day one: you’re breaking my heart, you’re shaking my confidence daily*

So…day one of Barbri down.

Hm.

To be honest, I’m not sure how I’m going to remember everything. I’m sure that I will remember enough, but wow — there is so much information and we’re just in the preview stage. I’m also not sure how I managed to get the grade I earned 1L year in Torts if I didn’t retain any more of it than I did… But I WILL say that I’m so glad we spent so much time on theories of punishment in criminal law, but didn’t touch on many of the tested crimes or even the M’Naghten Rule. Funny how not one question was on UTILITARIANISM.

*sigh*

I’m sure that I will get better at this, and plenty of other people are feeling the same way. Right?

*Title of post from Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is perhaps, the end of the beginning.” — Winston Churchill

I am going to run a substantial risk here of becoming a bit maudlin, but that doesn’t really matter. It’s all a part of the experience! This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I realize it’s slightly ridiculous, but that doesn’t stop the sweeping moments of feeling light and overjoyed, and the instances of sadness that seem to overcome me at the oddest times.

I am overjoyed at the idea that I will be done with law school classes as of tomorrow at 10 a.m. I love the thought that I have one rent check left to write, and most of that month will not be spent living separately from my husband. I cannot wait to move on to the next phases of my life: my career, starting a family, finding a new place for us to call home. On the other hand, that joy is a bit tempered. I know that I posted about things starting to hit me before, but nothing has hit home like knowing that tomorrow is it. I will go home, and then it starts. I’m terrible at keeping in touch, and there are so many amazing people I’ve met that I can’t stand the idea of not being near. I couldn’t have asked for better people to be along on my journey through law school.

I know, I know. Cry me a river, right? I will be able to get back to my life with my hubby. I will have my J.D., and will study for and pass the bar. I will have a career I love. I will be close to my family. It’s not that I’m sad about any of that — it’s just . . . it will be different, you know?

Law school has taught me a completely different way to think and look at the world. It’s introduced me to areas of the law that I had no idea I would love. It’s been through law school that I’ve become friends with people I would have never otherwise met. Many people tell horror stories about law school. The truth is, I’ve enjoyed it and I’m going to miss it. Not specifically the endless cases and impossible to understand theories, or the elements and factors. But more generally the experience as a whole. Of course, I’m not trying to romanticize things — there have been genuinely difficult and stressful and panic-inducing moments. But at the same time, I love learning, and I’ve certainly done my fill of that. There is nothing I like better than being challenged. I enjoyed being a teaching assistant and helping people who are new to the world of legal research wade through it. Being involved in as many things as possible, while crazy and stressful, was truly a wonderful decision on my part.

I’m sure that when I’m in the midst of the twenty-seven pounds of books for bar prep I will need to be reminded that this was all worth it – both for the future benefits and the enjoyment I’ve had in the past. So, I suppose this post is for myself, for later.

To my anxious, tired, and stressed-out self, come late June: You’ve come a long way, baby. Count yourself as lucky to have enjoyed the ride!

millionaire

You, internet, should be so proud of me. I never thought that at this young age, I would be able say it, but here goes.

I am a millionaire in the only game I ever play on Facebook: Bejeweled Blitz.

How did I do it? Well, it was a combination of thriftiness, hard work and luck. You see, you get a free spin every day, and that has really helped tremendously. I struck it big and got a half million coins the other day. The other half million, I have earned by wasting huge amounts of time playing the game, and then not spending them on “boosts.”

Like I said, you should be so proud. 🙂

forty-six

There are relatively few days left until graduation — only forty-six! — and it is starting to dawn on me that life is really and truly about to change. It’s hard to think that in just a couple of short months, I will be living at home full time again. This has a few very obvious implications.

Ryan and I will have to readjust to one another again. Part of what I love about us is that we have still remained our own individual selves in addition to being a couple. Some of the freedom and individuality that has automatically come with me living in the city during the week is going to go away, or it will at least become more of an effort to preserve it. We’re both used to kind of doing what we need or want to do during the week with only a phone call each day between us. I’m so looking forward to being home, but I know we’re going to have to readjust to being around one another every evening and weekend again.

I won’t see my friends every day anymore. Life is going to be so different without these people. We won’t have pre-made social events through the school to keep us close, or even just classes where we see one another several times a week. Law school has provided me with what amounts to a very unexpected wealth of friendship. I’ve met some absolutely amazing people, and they are soon to be spread around the state and the country. Thankfully there are things like email and Facebook, but those things are just not going to suffice. I’m going to miss my Guacamole Fridays, and other friend dates. I’ll miss getting ready at friends’ houses for events, or movie nights. I’ve been terrible my whole life at keeping in contact with friends, but I know that in order to avoid losing these wonderful people I’m going to have to make some changes in that arena.

And finally, I will no longer be taking classes. I will be out there, DOING things. I will have clients and help them through court processes. I will be able to get paid for what I am doing, as opposed to paying thousands of dollars to work in the clinic. I am truly looking forward to getting started in my career, and having my regular life back.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that it will be bittersweet on May 13th. I can’t wait to move on, but at the same time I don’t want to leave the learning and friendships behind. I suppose it’s a good thing I’m going into the law, because I will continue to learn as I go through my career and the legal community is a small one so I will hopefully see some of my classmates in the future as colleagues.

Forty-six days!

the bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle*

I’m so very excited that over the next six months: I will graduate law school. Two of my favorite people will graduate from college. A friend will marry the man she’s loved for so many years. Ryan’s brother and sister will both get married, and I will have the honor of standing up with them. I will study for and take the bar exam.

And then, comes The Wait.

The worst wait of my entire life, really. It was hard to wait for my score after I took the LSAT. It was miserable to wait for responses from schools when I applied during my senior year of college. It was excrutiating to wait for grades after 1L exams. And I’ve waited for grades and results every semester since, including the MPRE. But not one of those waiting periods will compare to what I anticipate The Wait to be. The Wait that will come between taking the bar exam and the results will be like no other.

So, in order to distract myself from The Wait, Ryan and I are taking our first trip somewhere with just the two of us (and not to visit family) since our honeymoon. It will be just shy of ten years since that trip when we leave for Seattle, and I can’t wait!

If you’ve been to the Emerald City, what is a “must do” for us while we’re there?

*title of post from Seattle by Perry Como.