the calm before the storm?

I am relaxing on the comfy couch in my hotel room, having just returned from the registration and orientation session for the bar exam. It was perhaps the most boring thing I’ve ever done. Wait, no — that was law school orientation. But the jokes were very cheesy, and the check-in process was inefficient. So overall, not so wonderful (not that I expected it to be fascinating and exciting!).

Overall, I’m preternaturally calm. I cracked jokes with friends, and chatted with people around me. Barring a moment this morning with the hubby, I’ve not really exhibited much in terms of stress outwardly. The stomachache that I’ve perpetually had over the past several days is gone. The feeling of panic and the fear that I don’t know enough are not constantly eating away at my brain. My heart rate has dropped back to normal.

I think I’m ready — or as ready as I’ll ever be.

This afternoon, I plan to read through some essays and review my outlines on a couple of topics that are giving me trouble. Tonight, I will have dinner with a friend who I haven’t seen since graduation, work out, maybe swim for a bit, have a glass of wine, watch some Gilmore Girls and hopefully get a good night of sleep.

It’s only a test. Either I will pass, or I won’t. There’s nothing more I can do for myself except get good rest and be fresh when it comes time to get started tomorrow. I’ve kind of come to a point of acceptance, I think. Then again, I could feel completely different in the morning.

Wish me luck — and I’m doing the same for all of my fellow bar-takers out there. We’ve got this!


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