my terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad morning*

Yesterday began like any other day. I woke up after hitting the snooze button a couple of times, showered, dressed for work, and hit the road. I stopped and grabbed a breakfast sandwich because I didn’t have time to whip something together at home (see: aforementioned snooze-button hitting). There was a trial, so I was dressed in a suit. I ate my breakfast on the way in to the office, arrived, got my computer fired up and took the last dose of the medication I’d been on for the past week due to my unusual allergic reaction to a bug bite. When the client arrived at the office, I went into my boss’s office to sit in on their meeting.

We headed to the court house, and things were fine. It was very warm and humid outside, but there was nothing terribly unusual about that — this is July in Iowa, after all. I went into chambers with my boss to observe while he presented a couple of motions to the Judge. As we were standing there and my boss was talking with the Judge, I started to feel really warm. As in, droplets of sweat were forming all over my body. The next thing I knew, I was a little bit light-headed. I excused myself and sat down in the courtroom with my bottle of water. After a few sips and some deep breaths, I felt better but I was still quite warm.

When the court reporter came in to inform the attorneys that the Judge would like to speak to them before commencing trial, I was invited along. My boss introduced me to the Judge, and I sat behind the attorneys to listen to the conference. Directly in front of me was a door to the hallway, and just to my left was a door into the Judge’s bathroom.

As I sat and listened to the discussions about child custody, I suddenly felt as though my body temperature were 2000 degrees. I shrugged my jacket off, hoping it would help. As I mentioned, it was VERY hot and humid outside, but there were air conditioners running in the courtroom and in chambers. Although I was puzzled, I focused my attention back to the conference.

All of the sudden, a wave of nausea hit me out of nowhere. I’m talking about drowning in that sick feeling that makes you want to double over and call for your mom to make you feel better. My mind was racing — I would utterly die if I lost my breakfast in the middle of a pretrial conference. I was still sweating profusely, and had a lighter-than usual feel in my head.

I sat there and debated with myself. I could excuse myself and hunt down the bathroom elsewhere in the courthouse, but I had no idea where it was (i.e. down two floors on the opposite side of the building…or outside the door?). I wasn’t precisely fond of tossing my cookies in the courthouse hallway, either. I could excuse myself and try to run for the office, which isn’t at all far. But again, no idea if I could make it. My only other option was to slip into the Judge’s bathroom.

And then, my stomach made the choice for me.

I threw up. In the Judge’s bathroom, in chambers. During the pretrial conference.

*insert incredibly mortified groan and sobs of horrified-ness here*

Afterwards, I looked in the mirror and I was as white as a ghost. I cleaned up, rinsed my mouth, and went out to sit back down for the duration of the discussion. And then, I told my boss I needed to go.

Whatever this mystery malady was, it thankfully didn’t last long. I made it home, peeled off my sweat-soaked clothing and pretty much camped out in front of the air conditioner all day. After a few hours of sleeping and watching bad court t.v., I was ravenously hungry. I’ve basically been fine since.

Let’s just say I hope to never repeat that experience again. Never, ever.

*I loved this book as a kid.


3 thoughts on “my terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad morning*

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